I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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