im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
organizing the empties. That sober.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
