So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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