and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
