mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
