What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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