That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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