btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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