Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
