well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
