hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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