On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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