She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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