ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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