North Korea, Best Korea!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
