I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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