i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
