i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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