you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
