Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
