Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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