I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
PS: I just woke up from my shower
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
