Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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