It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
