Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
