God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
