so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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