some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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