I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
