New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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