I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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