If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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