Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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