After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize