check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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