we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
