Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
