I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
