I seem to have left my pride at pride
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
