Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
