Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he's gonorrhea incarnate
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
