Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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