im drinking this country out of the recession.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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