I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
