Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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