# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
