anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
