The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
