Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
