Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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