I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
